


I've turned into a monster and it keeps getting stronger

by tonyjasper99



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Depression, Gen, feeling like a monster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26384986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonyjasper99/pseuds/tonyjasper99
Summary: Jon always worried he was a monster, ever since the incident with Mr. Spider--------------------------------Jon's comes face to face with his fears of being a monster
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	I've turned into a monster and it keeps getting stronger

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a really short thing I wrote to pass the time. I feel like with all he has going on he definitely feels like a monster.

Jon always worried he was a monster, ever since the incident with Mr. Spider. He should’ve saved the person but instead he stood there and watched as he was dragged to his almost certain death. Then the Institute happened. He was frightened by the reality of the statements so he took it out on others, trying to pretend they were fake or made up by some prankster or someone who was mentally ill and in turn was rude to those around him, including Martin, who was always nothing but nice to Jon.

When he started developing his compulsion powers the fear grew stronger. No human could do that so he must be becoming a monster, right? And Elias offered him no relief, with his philosophical bullshit answer. Then he started taking statements. Hunting down random people and making them relive their trauma against their will, even though he knew they would have nightmares about it for the rest of time. And he didn’t care. What kind of person would do that to someone else? He hoped it was because he was being manipulated by Anabelle, but when he read her statement and learned it was done on his own free will, he didn’t know what to think. All he knew is Martin knew he was better than this and that was enough to make him want to stop, no matter how much it would hurt him.

He thought he was getting better, that he was becoming less of a monster since stopping taking statements, even if he wasn’t becoming more human. He figured he could live with being a monster if he wasn’t hurting anyone else and was going to try his hardest to help everyone, especially the ones he loved.

When the Lonely happened all that mattered is that Martin was back and that he was safe, and they were together. And then they went off to the safe house and things were good. He had stopped thinking about the whole monster thing for a while, but of course it couldn’t last. Jonah happened.  _ Of course, _ Jonah had to happen. Jon tried to stop reading the statement. He tried so hard, not caring whether he would get hurt in the process, but it wasn’t enough. And now he had started the apocalypse.

He was now a true monster, bringing pain and fear to everyone in the world. And the Ceaseless Watcher up in the sky, watches it all. He can see Sarah Green, 22-year-old uni student, trying to run from an avatar of the slaughter, which Jon Knows isn’t going to help her. He sees Stephen Baker, 74-year-old father of three, succumbing to the Lonely, his wife of 53 years upstairs unaware of her husband, who will surely be confused on where he scampered off to, not knowing that the time at breakfast they shared together would be their last. He watches as an avatar of the Hunt tracks down a lone man who had gone out in the middle of the night in a desperate attempt to get his sick wife some medicine, Knowing he wouldn’t make it back.

Worst of all, Jon Knows this is all his fault, no matter what Martin says. He is no longer human. He is a monster.

No.

He is The Archives.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at my new Tumblr asexual-jarchivist or Twitter @TonyJasper99


End file.
